Speed has never been a talent I have possessed. My top pace, physically, is a jog at best. Apparently my speed in spiritual growth rivals that of my running. The important thing, (I keep reminding myself,) is that I am making progress, and even slow progress is progress none the less.
I am learning a valuable lesson - and this is where the lack of speed is really making itself known - about how I treat the people I love. Evidently, I fancy myself as a handyman, a repair technician, a "fixer." Those of you who know me might be asking if this is truly something I am just now discovering. Yes, thus the emphasis in the first paragraph of my lack of swiftness.
It has been my natural propensity to step in when I see someone hurting, struggling, questioning . . . I have thought it was just a way for me to give love and support, to show up as a friend. What I am learning is that my inclination to "fix" things in the lives of those I love has been a burden to them and a hindrance in our relationships. My intentions, however good, do not make it acceptable.
By stepping in to offer solutions or alleviate pain, I have sent a message that the people I love are inadequate on their own. I have added anguish to an existing problem. These are results I never intended. So, I am working now on seeing the challenges my loved ones face as great opportunities for their growth and discovery and my listening and compassion. I can give love without giving solutions. I am grateful to be learning, finally, that I am not only slow, but I am a poor excuse for a Maytag man. I am going to stick with love and compassion and leave my toolbox in the garage.
No comments:
Post a Comment