Gnawing at bones

"Do what you love.  Know your own bone; gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw at it still." - Henry David Thoreau

We are all born with gifts, talents, tastes, preferences, inclinations, tendencies, quirks, dreams and passions.  Some of us are fortunate to have these things recognized, respected and even encouraged by the adults and authority figures in our lives.  But even then, once enmeshed in the logic, common sense and conformity of mainstream society, it is not a priority or cause that is championed, to follow ones' heart and do what one loves.  We are persuaded to get a respectable job, prodded to go for an above average salary.  We are sold on the glamor and appeal of fame, power, money and possessions.  Our gifts, talents and dreams become "hobbies" at best, and are put off until later in life when we have more time.

I've said it before and I will say it again, the time we know we have is now.  I have spent so much time trying to measure up to my projection of someone else's standards.  Is my mother happy with the way I am living my life?  Is my father proud of me?  Does my brother respect me?  Does my high school English teacher think I succeeded as a writer?  Does my neighbor like the placement of my trash bin on Mondays?  Couple things here - first, it is quite egocentric of me to think any of these people spend time considering those matters.  Second, and most importantly, "what they think of me is none of my business."(Terry Cole-Whittaker)  "Stop the insanity!" (Never thought I'd squeeze in a Susan Powter quote.)

I am getting to know my own bone.  I have gnawed a few that didn't taste as good as I had hoped, but it beats trying to guess what others want from me and then endeavoring to give it to them.  I am grateful for the lessons my people-pleasing ways have brought me.  And, I am grateful to be moving toward the lessons my gifts and passions have on tap for me. 


My dream is to live in a world that looks like the all-you-can-eat rib night at Golden Corral - bones piled on plates, elbows on the tables and sauce dripping from chins.  Thoreau was a brilliant man.  Follow his advice and gnaw at a bone or two.  

He also said the following: "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with a song still in them."  When you find your bone . . . sing about it!