Slow ride

I have been making myself (and those around me) pretty crazy by arguing with reality.  I think I should have more energy and be less tired.  As my good friend would ask, "how do you know that you should be tired?  You are!"  It is the way of it, at least for now.

So, I am putting my efforts into embracing what is and not only taking naps and slowing down, but working on really finding joy and peace in it.  It means finding and questioning old beliefs.  Beliefs like "taking naps means you are lazy."  And, "if I am not crossing things off of a to-do list, I am not contributing."  I had no idea how deeply engrained these beliefs were until I investigated them.

What I am learning is that being busy does not equate being useful, and being still does not equate being worthless.  I am finding that there is much to see and hear in the silence that waits for me to notice when I am able to quiet the critic and sink into awareness.  I am realizing that love and gratitude can be created and shared from any space at any time.  I'm learning that the things I think are so urgent in life, can wait.

So, with dishes in the sink and laundry waiting to be folded, I will take a nap.  And, when I wake up I might put on a Bonnie Raitt cd and take a slow ride . . . being sure to notice how much there is to see, hear, touch, love and learn in the quiet spaces between thought and action.